Incident: My 83yr old mother had been moved back east to a nice Senior Retirement Center and after much heated discussions with family members it was determined that having a disinterested 3^rd party attorney handle her interests might be a better solution to family problems. My sister was supposedly trying to take care if it, but had her hands full with her own family, interests and couldn’t devote the proper attention to Mom’s affairs in addition to looking after Mom’s social welfare, a task unto itself (and deserves much credit). While sister’s claim of "I’m to busy" and/or "I’ll have to think about it…." Might be justified, it became a little irritating as a constant excuse. So after much ado about nothing, she finally retained and attorney. I was in the process of passing over the handling of the Lake (another long disappointingly painful episode, but that’s another thought) and trying with my brother, to set the Lake up as a Trust for the benefit of all the family. The attorney was to look into this and help make the decision on what to do, while getting Mom’s affairs in some sort of order – not necessarily a big task. After sending copies of all documents in regards to the Lake and as an aside, inquiring as to what’s happening as far as the Lake Trust?, I had heard nothing. After several months of no response, since a previous attorney pulled the same stunt, I finally called with something important and what to my surprise I’m told the she’s been sooooooooo busy in doing this and doing that and prattled on about how much trouble another client was giving her etc….. I was amazed at the thought that she was almost at the point of a braggart bait-fisherman, boasting about the one that got away…. It was almost as if she was trying for a merit badge for the Girl Scouts… on and on she went…. To the point of me having to jump in and get to the point.

I say this as anyone would expect a normal "Blame something else….." type of excuse, but she went on and on and on…. Having received the same thing from my sister, and a previous attorney, I thought we might have a trend here… Sooooooooo that got me to thinking…..

Thoughts: We all have busy times in our lives. Everyone does. To the cave man spending all day trying to catch dinner to the high-tech financial yuppie with only 5 minutes for fast food. The essence of "Busy" is how we prioritize things and what is important and what’s not. We’ve all seen people who can look overwhelmed just opening a jar of spaghetti sauce to another preparing a full 15 course meal for 10 (loving to cook, I can appreciate the overwhelmness of it all) both are overwhelmed and in their mind justifiable so. Both cases have other people that are used to doing that sort of thing from the short order cook and the spagetti shop who opens (albeit hopefully cooks their own) 20 jars on a daily basis to the chef who schedules 15 course dinners at a Five Star hotel. It’s a matter of getting into the flow of things. Anyone will be overwhelmed with any new major change in life, but normally adapts, plans and figures out how to make it simpler - easier to deal with. Solutions can include organizing, hiring someone to organize or just plain delegating someone to do it – and allowing them to do it. The yuppies with the Cell Phones staring blankly down the crowded freeway at 70mph while yaking on the phone ziging this way and that way would claim that the call was important and had to make it… well just what did people do prior to cell phones. How did the person standing in line talking loudly seemingly to themselves get along with out "having to call" their friend to "just see what you’re doing?" get along in life. If they are so busy, then why do they go to such great pains, expense and annoyance to others to make themselves available? If they were so busy, I would think they could use the non-interuptive time to do something productive… It reminds me of the old interviewing technique that Job Interviewer or just plain obnoxious control jocks used in keeping the interviewee or sales rep waiting out in the lobby for 30 minutes plus… when finally called in, the control jock arrogantly apologized for the wait as he was sooooo busy blah-blah-blah to which the Sales Rep responded "…. Actually it was refreshing to be able to get caught up on relaxed reading as my schedule is sooooooo tight it doesn’t allow for reading time…." Or something to that effect. It’s like two dogs at a fire hydrant. It’s a power contest, I’m more busier than you therefore I’m excused. This attorney and my sister were sooooo busy that they couldn’t function. Well if they are that busy, then they shouldn’t accept the responsibility. Simply say, I’m sorry, I’m too busy that I won’t be able to handle it…. Not sit and brag about how busy you are, making more busy time, which directly states that there are MORE important things I have to do than what you wanted. But they want it all. It’s like a dating teenager (although probably applies to us older folks too) in that they are trying to keep all their options open for Grad Night at high school.

Conclusion: I feel that as we all get busy from time to time, some keep very busy but are able to handle it, we have an obligation to ensure that what we are doing is productive and accomplishes adequately the tasks at hand. It is not a game, power play, nor status symbols that one should strive for unto itself. The busy person is parallel to Murphy’s? other law that a person will work towards incompetence. If they are good at what they do, they will accumulate more things to do until they can’t handle it. They then either organize it or delegate it to handle more until that situation can’t handle it and go on from there. They don’t mak a practice of bragging about it. That’s how companies are formed. One person has an idea works it to the max, then gets help and keeps rising adinfinitum. The "Badge of Busy-ness" is not something to be proud of, it is the result of accomplishing tasks. Looking busy and being busy are two separate things. Being busy is good. Looking busy is bad. Neither of these is something someone else wants to hear about. If you can’t handle the task, then say so and let it go. Keeping your options open (i.e. unable to make a decision) way past the due dates is the essence of a bad management. The Dating teenager who keeps all date options open for the High School Grad night may end up loosing just what they were striving for. The sister or attorney who can’t make up their minds or have to think about something for months on end (it’s really an excuse, not major decisions etc) and then claims to be sooooo busy is doing both themselves a disservice and their fellow humans. It is, in fact, simply stating that first - "I have more important things to do than dealing with your things…." And second – I’m not able to handle it by delegating it, nor having the courage, respect and self-esteem to admit I can’t handle it at this point in time…." Just keeping their options open and they’ll get to it when there is nothing more pressing on their agenda.

I, of course, could go on and on, but frankly I’m sooooooo busy….. heheh ;-P….