Incident: I was just notified that a Birthday present (mine, back in Nov) was on its way in a comparatively timely manner. This is from a family member who means well, and the thoughts were in the right place, but I feel those thoughts are off-set by the lack of thought and feeling in completing the essence of gift giving. This also applies for the Holidays and most appropriate gift giving events.

Thoughts: If someone is kind, thoughtful, and motivated to give a gift for whatever reason, then I feel it should be given at the appropriate time. Telling someone that they have a gift for you on an appropriate occasion, although appreciatively a step above total indifference, is not enough. If they have taken the time to think about the gift (another topic) and the time to acquire it, then why not deliver it and close the outstanding thought. It’s like buying Beautiful fire works for the 4^th of July and then not delivering them. It is like saying "I’ve met my obligation of a "Gotta Git" gift, but haven’t got the time nor inclination to make an effort to get it to you, or worse, "Why don’t you come over and pick up the gift I got for you." or "Will you marry me?…. I sent you an engagement ring in the mail" The idea of a gift is because you care about the person, are trying to make them happy and celebrate the occasion with them. Not some obligation, or program tape that runs through the head saying "Oh, next week is Sam’s birthday, I "Gotta Git" him a gift. The "Gotta Git" part is the problem. If you have to "Gotta Git" a gift, recognizing of course that in the real world this is very common, then maybe a good look at the motivation and reason there is a programmed tape and figure out if there really has to be a "Gotta Git" mode. If one has to "Gotta Git" a gift, then is seems to defeat the purpose of Gift Giving. The essence of the giving is lost in the Programmed tape of having to do it. This leads to the next step of getting it there in the appropriate event.

Once the thought is there, and the acquired gift in hand, delivery of it is just as important if not more so. It would be like telling someone you are going to do something and then never doing it. I doesn’t do you any good until the "Do, is done" After a while the "I’m going to do this for you……" solicits a yawn followed by a ‘sure, sure….’

Although the gift has been acquired, it wasn’t delivered, not enjoyed as intended, and the most serious message delivered is that the person was" I’m not motivated nor considerate enough in getting it to you for the special occasion for which the gift was originally intended." This in-and-of itself is worse than not getting a gift at all. Now you are telling the person that you have satisfied your own personal conscience, programmed tape of getting the gift, but you haven’t got the time nor inclination to get there in a timely fashion, in others words "Oh I got you a fire extinguisher to help put out your currently inflamed house, and I’ll send it whenever I get around to it." I mean, what’s the point. They selfishly satisfied their program tape of "helping or coming to the need of someone…" but just ended up rubbing salt in the wound, as it was a useless effort followed by the rubbing the salt of saying in "I didn’t feel it was important enough to me, to get it to you for the appropriate occasion", i.e. to help put out the fire and save the house. Now if it were just a Whatever Gift then any time would be appropriate, but don’t tell them you got something for them and not deliver it to them.

Conclusion: If the true essences of gift giving is to be considered, then the whole package must be complete. The loving thought of making someone else happy, by thinking of them, thinking about them, thinking about their essence, thinking what you could do to make them happy for this occasion, and finally allowing them to share the thoughts, time and energy that you put into the gift, it needs to be shared at the peak of the occasion. Anything less diminishes the thought of Gift Giving.